besday mereka sama... mak n jejaka...

28 feb 09..
hari istimewa untuk dua org yg istimewa..
ibu terchenta yg sgt kami sayangi..
n jejaka yg ku gelar tun.. (kalau meluat, sila skip entry neh ok.. hahaha)
mereka berdua berkongsi tarikh lahir yg sama..
tapi tahun sgt berbeza okey...


mak berusia 62 tahun hari ini..
alhamdulillah..
moga mak dipanjangkan umur..
diberikan kesihatan n kegembiraan.. yang hakiki..
serta bahagia bersama kami..
adek n semua sentiasa mendoakan yg terbaik untuk mak...
tiada kata yg dapat menggambarkan kasih n sayang kami pada mak...
adek sayang bangat kat mak..



dan jejaka plak 28 tahun..
da best year for jejaka neh..
berusia 28 sama seperti tarikh lahir nya..
istimewa sungguh.. huhuhu...
owh kamu..
semoga wish kamu mahu bertemu jodoh tahun ini tercapai ya..
and i'm glad da parcel sudah selamat sampai..
hope u like it..
kalau tak suka adiah itu..
sila campakkan saje ke sungai muar ya.. hahaha
saya tidak kisah.. buat la suka kamu (ayat yg sgt poyo.. ngeh ngeh)



dan untuk mak..
ini jek yg adek termampu.. (ketiadaan idea yg sebenarnya.. huhuhu)
rasa memang sgt tidak berbaloi..
kalau nak dibandingkan kasih sayang yg dicurahkan..
tapi semoga mak gembira ngan pemberian ikhlas anakmu..

owh ya..
ingat mahu nyanyikan lagu neh untuk mak n jejaka..
tapi takut 'kemerduan' suara mengejutkan semua..
so.. nyanyi di sini sahaja okies..

"Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to mak n jejaka..
Happy Birthday to you.."

haPPy Big Day..EnJoy...
love ya..
muaahhhh...

takut.. nervous.. sakit bagai..

gambo di atas diambil beberapa saat yg lalu..
muka serabut yg tak bleh blah....
pening kepala terasa tepu..
tetiba sakit perut..
sakit dada segala...
hati berdegup-degup...
rasa takut yg berbagai..
nervous tak tentu pasal..

aish.. dah tinggal beberapa jam..
time neh la nak kuar benda-benda tuh semua..

semoga esok berjalan lancar..
doakan saya yer...

happy besday bro...

25 feb 09..
another friend's besday..
this is one of my good friend..
satu skolah rendah..
boleh tahan pemalu..
kalau kitaorang jumpa...
cian sangat kat dier..
aku jek yg selalu kecoh-kecoh..
nasib kamu ler lukman...
dapat member yg sengal mcm saya neh..
hahahaha

anyway..
happy 28th besday bro..
have a big one yeah..
may all yer dreams comes true..
God bless ya, yeah..
take care..

*haih.. tak penat ker jadi silence reader?? hahaha*

please do help me.. huhuhu

simple entry..

just a question...

is it my english so bad??

i'm so sorry ok..

kalau aku dianggap perosak bahasa..

aku dlm proses belajar okies..

tapi kalau ada yg tak boleh nak paham..

maksudnya aku kena masuk kelas semula la neh..

parah..

ayat yg ditulis tak dapat disampaikan dgn betul...

auchh...

dah ler nak g interbiu neh...

macam mana neh???

so please do help me people..

if there's anything wrong with my phrase..

sila jgn segan silu betulkan ya..

aku tak akan kecik ati..

malah amat berterima kasih..

alrite then... tq very much..

until later

emptiness...

i sat all alone in my office..
reading those bloody book that i have to finish read..
and suddenly there's a tears wall my eyes..
suddenly i feel so empty..
i didn't knew if what i'm gonna do..
is what i really want..
not now.. not ever..

one time ago.. i really want this bloody job..
the job that i will attend the interview this coming Thursday..
i didn't say i will get the job..
hell.. i never thought that i will ever being called to the interview...
it's da one job that's so hard to get pass each level..
but this the only job that i keep wanting n wanting n wanting..
after my ambition to become a teacher flop..
*yeah yeah.. laugh all u want.. i don't bloody care*
*but FYI, all this time.. become like my dad is what i want for my future*
*maybe it's not my place to be.. bukan rezeki org kata..*
end of flashback..
i never want other job like i want this bloody job..
but hey.. doesn't meant i didn't like my job now..
i love it so much..
infact i bet i will never find this great kind of job..
it just everyone have their own vision n mission rite..
so am i..

but now.. i didn't know if my aim is a good one for me..
coz if i pass this interview (which i hope so..)
i will be send away from my home..
the safe zone that i built years n years ago..
there's no pinky that waiting for me to lay down with her..
there's no four blue wall that will hide me from da world..
and especially there's no mum to comfort me whenever i want her..
not like if i'm still here..
i can ran back home if i need to hug her..
or having a shoulder to cry on..
or to have a meal if i'm famish..
n those 'without' thought make me feel like hell..
feel the emptiness clouding my mind.. my soul..
God.. what i'm gonna do now..??
what should i do..??

i just pray that whatever happens to me..
will be the very best for me n my family..
especially my lovely mum..

because there's somewhere in my mind..
that trigger n told me..
if it's meant to be.. it is meant to be...
and i really need to learn how to accept 'thing'..

just be sTRoNG fila...

the power of black coffee..

there's nothing important to share rite now..
just a little info with what am i doing now..
i'm trying to focus myself to read this one bloody book..
the factual book.. err.. is that the real word..
but.. see what am i doing now???
i'm updating da bloody blog.. owh my God..
what gonna happen to myself..???

it's a book.. general book i tell u..
bout something that i should read long time ago...
but.. it's me..
the one person who love to read fiction not fact..
so.. now really kinda having problem to finish it on time..
almost a week i read it.. not even half finish.. grrr...
always slept on it.. i mean on the book.. hahhaa

come on fila.. just a few days away..

so i really need a coffee boost..
to prevent me from sleep on the book..

and infront of me..
one mug of the very black coffee..
and i think i can manage to stay focus for a while..
"kenegaraan malaysia" book..
here i come.. hahahha..

owh... aku yg emo..

sorry guys.. tempoh berpantang belum habis..

tapi for this entry.. cannot go la nak dlm english..
feeling tak sampai dgn apa yg nak disampaikan..
lagipun aku tak dan nak tahan diri mencari words dr kamus..
lambat n leceh.. aceceh...

alrite...
meh aku nak citer..

ari ini aku sgt eMO..
.
.
ya
.
.
emo = eMOTIonal..


bukan jiwa kaco okies..
cuma simple eMO..

sebab pertama..
aku agak penat ari neh..
balik dr keja malam..
memang mengantuk tahap dewa..
tp ku gagahkan diri drive balik kg dgn excitednya...
sebab nak amek baju baru tuk wedding member..
*memang la wedding ader sebulan lagi.. tp ader la yg aku nak wat kat baju tuh*
*lagipun aku tak moh la tergesa-gesa nanti*
tapi bila aje aku melangkah masuk kat umah kakak tailor ittew..
hati rasa laen mcm..
ghupa-ghupanya..
bila nengok jek baju yg aku tempah ittew..
hati jadi luluh..
sudah sALAh bUAt...
walla wei.. hati sediH tak terkata...
aku tak mampu nak cakap apa.. diAM aje..
mak yg explain bagai kat akak tuh.. haih.. apa nak jd neh...
penat tau aku cari kain tuh.. satu jb aku pusing..
grrr.. hati memang 'berbunga indah'...
siap ada 'firework' bagai...
bertalu-talu akak tu mintak maaf..
aku pun tak la nak jd kejam sgt..
ni silap pertama dier.. so aku just cakap "takpe la"..
tu jek ayat yg kuar dr mulut time tuh...
so aku biar mak yg deal.. aku hulur duit kat mak n kuar g keta..
majuk aa kunun.. tsk tsk tsk.. nasib badan..

sebab kedua yg buat aku eMO...
warriCK sudah mati oK..
dier kena tembak..
dgn org CSI gak aku rasa..
owh tiDAk..
sgt sedey.. sebab dier mati dipangkuan Grissom..
apa nak jd neh..
dah la eMo yg petang tu tak ilang lagik...
neh ditambah dgn keadaan yg sedey neh..
tidAk.. tidAk...
aku sudah semakin 'benci' ngan CSI..
*aku masih tetap peminat tegar CSI ok*
semakin lama semakin buat aku sedey..
ngan kejadian yg menimpa crew depa..
masa tu saRa.. this time warrick..
nanti dgr kabo Grissom plak nak kuar for last season neh..
adoi.. ni boleh buat eMO berpanjangan neh.. huhuhuh..

korang kena la terima aku dalam keadaan eMO neh..
salahkan PMS aku neh ya..
biasa la.. pompuan waktu-waktu kritikal mcm neh..
eMO memang kawan baek..
so.. just bear with me.. huhuhu

the qoute..

you are where you are..
and what you are...
because of yourself..
because of your own actions & decisions...

friday the 13th?? huhuh

it's friday the 13th.. whoah.. i just realize it..
well actually i just get back from this one english course.. 1st day ok.. got 2 more days..
it's kinda fun.. but God.. i'm bloody tired..
i really need to attend this course even all i want is going home n sleep..
it doesn't matter if i didn't sleep last nite (i'm working ok..)...
becoz i really felt that my english communication not in par...
and most likely i'm in 'berpantang' state
cannot speak malay.. even broken i need to speak n write in english.. grrr
even if i had a hamster.. i need to talk to them in english.. huhuhuh

so people.. please bear with me if there's a lot of grammatical mistake u'll find here..
and u're welcome to correct it for me..
i won't mind ok.. as long as it for my own good..

so.. u see the photo up there?? just took it a few minutes before..
it's a bored face.. a tension kinda face..
most likely i had that impression for quite sometime..
especially after got this 'something'..
the one that had some connection with this entry
still.. i need to keep it low.. coz i don't want to think bout it..
maybe i told u guys da exact thing that happened after everything settle..
not promise but insya-Allah..

i'm just hoping that Allah will make those bloody thing...
a little bit easier for me.. insya-Allah,... amenn..

tag pelamin anganku.. huahahah

salamz kengkawan.. aku telah di'tag' oleh mr s h i n o;
owh.. terasa ati eh kalau tak jawab.. ok ok..fila jawab yer..

pepe pun korang jgn la jeles atau kata aku perasan bagai ok..
biasa la.. bila menjawab sesuatu yg tak pasti neh..
tentu suka suki nak jawab apa yg kita impikan.. yer tak??
lagik lagik la dlm keadaan aku yg kacau bilau sebab pen drive ilang.. wuarghh..
tapi nak gak jawab tag neh.. hopefully lenyap kejap sedey pasal pen drive tuh..
so.. enjoy...

***********************************************************************************

1. How old are you?
27 tahun.. eh.. suka la aku nak jd 27.. 17 ogos nanti baru aku 28 ok.. lama lagik... bagi ler peluang aku ber'muda-muda' dulu,.. huahahah

2.Are you single?
Single n available.. (anyone??? sila lihat perkataan available ittew.. hahahhaa)

3.At what age do you think you'll get married?
dulu kalau time motivasi selalu tulis aim kawen umuq 27... tapi 27 dah lepas.. tak kawen lagik neh.. so aku pun tak tau la bila tahun Allah nak bg jodoh... so andai tetiba esok pagi jodoh aku.. esok pagi la aku kawen.. wakakka...

4.Do you think you'll marrying the person you are with now?
dah aku single.. tak kan nak kawen ngan gambo jejaka kat desktop lappy neh plak.. ish ish ish.. kerana gambo dier jek la yg bersama aku waktu neh.. kalau yer best jugak kan... hahahah keperasanan sudah bermula..

5.If not, who do you want to marry?
kalau nak dier jugak??? hahha.. sapa kah jejaka di desktop lappy neh ya?? kueng kueng kueng..

6.Who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
kalau anak-anak sedara dah cukup besar.. biar diorang jd flower gal & boy.. boy boleh jd budak bunga ker?? pedulik.. hehehhe.. *kerana mereka akan jadi pengapit paling comel..*

7.Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
aku pernah punya impian nak buat garden wedding di tepi pantai.. apa kes?? tapi tetiba mcm nak traditional plak.. ish ish ish.. last last malas nak pk,.. agak-agak kalau along nak sponsor buat kat stesen dier pun ok jugak.. meriah tau.. semua owang yg datang tu akan raikan aku.. hahahh (kamu nak?? kamu nak?? sambil tanya jejaka di desktop lappy)

8.Where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
atas cruise yg sgt heaven ittew okies... pastu duk jek la dalam bilik.. (under 18th sila tutup mata.. hahhaha).. tak kisah la.. selagi bersama si jejaka terchenta.. kat tepi padang pun boleh dapat feel honeymoon.. ok tak??

9.How many guests do you think you'll invite?
selagi sapa yg tau aku kawen n sudi datang.. dipersilakan.. kuarger.. sedara mare.. kengkawan.. supplier.. abg-abg tanker.. org-org petronas.. (kalau tak jemput, takut kecik ati plak.. huhuh), serta yg tidak dinyatakan.. cewah... ngeh ngeh ngeh

10.Will that include your exes?
aku tak ramai exes la.. aku gadis loyal ok.. hahahha... so tak perlu kot.. ntah idup ke tdk lagik diaorang tuh.. malas nak susahkan diri cari alamat diaorang..

11.How many layers of cake do you want?
dulu aku pernah nak 7 tingkat kek.. giler kuasa apa aku?? hahaha.. tapi sekarang 3 layer pulut kuning sudah cukup.. kalau ader yg nak sponsor kek.. sgt dialu-alukan okies.. huhuh

12.When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
i have no idea.. pagi kot.. sebab aku pun lahir ke dunia neh pagi buta.. so.. rasanya mcm kelahiran baru (status baru, jadi bini org) kalau nikah pagi hari.. emmm i like.. hihih

13.Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding
tell him - Celine Dion & Barbara Streisand.. can i have our 1st dance??? lagu ini sgt bermakna ok..

14.Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork?knife?
anything can do.. tp tangan lebih sopan.. dan lebih manja.. lagik lagik kalau suap-menyuap.. aku sangat suka makan disuap emak.. sampai sekarang ok sgt suka kalau mak suap.. so apatah lagik kalau disuap jejaka terchenta.. owhhh heaven..

15.Champagne or red wine?
sirap bandung soda ok.. sila buat sesedap mak atau arwah ayah buat.. kalau tak reject.. ngeh ngeh ngeh..

16.Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
selepas semua selesai la.. takkan nak tinggal bontang-bontang jek.. ramah mesra ngan kuarger semua.. jadi anak menantu mithali la kunun.. pastu baru aa honeymoon tak hengat dunia.. hahahah

17.Money or household items?
tak memilih ok.. asal ianya pemberian ikhlas.. kerana ikhlas itu lebih berkat n bermakna.. cewah.. ayat mcm tak bleh blah. huhuh

18.How many kids would you like to have?
ikut la baper ramai Allah nak bg.. tapi sgt best kalau dapat 4 kot.. kan jejaka desktop kan?? huhuhu... same like u n mine.. ngeh ngeh..

19.Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
hanya record yg bukan nc17 okay... kalau nc17 tuh.. record dalam otak n hati sendiri sudah.. privacy okies.. hahahh

20. Whose wedding plan would you like to know next?
1.ain janne
2.dak chomel a.k.a kekasih atok
3.annaheim
4.phuying
5.cham's

sakit tengkuk = no mood...

seharian semalam..

dr celik mata sampai ke petang..

berkemas..

membuang segala kotak n barang yg sudah kurang pakai..

bukan apa..

sekarang terlalu manyak nyamuk..

dan takut jugak ngan kes denggi neh..

member aku sorang masuk spital..

dan member achik meninggal minggu lepas..

semua angkara si nyamuk AEdes durjana..

so aku n mum pada hari semalam..

ambil keputusan membuang benda-benda yg agak menyemakkan...

manyak buku n majalah aku jek sebenarnya...

*sedih woo.. terpaksa berpisah dgn'mereka'.. sob sob..*

tapi ku rela.. dari jd mangsa...

tapi yg tak rela nya..

tengah dok beriya mengangkat kotak yg berlambak-lambak ittew..

zass.. urat tertarik plak kat tengkuk aku..

mau tak menjerit bergegar satu umah..

aku rasa satu tmn u kot boleh dgr..

warghhh sakit nya...

terus terlepas kotak bagai..

terjelepuk mintak mak urut..

sakit tau..

dah kena urut.. ader kurang sikit..

abiskan la apa yg tergendala..

sesekali air mata nak mengalir jugak..

tapi takkan nak biar jek..

anak dara.. buat keja kena sampai abis...

dah settle..petang masuk la keja..

dan mood time tuh memang merundum abis..

mcm² ubat aku makan biar bg ilang..

tapi tak jugak kurang..

pagi neh.. masih sakit..

still kurang bermood...

mujur along datang bawakan hotcakes..

wahhh.. sgt heaven..

tetiba berkurang rasa sakit tengkuk seketika..

tapi neh.. hotcakes dah abes..

sakit datang semula..

sengal sungguh.. huhuhuh

tapi ok la.. dr semalam.. dah sgt kurang sakitnya..

dan aku masih mampu bergerak..

cuma mcm robot jek..

till later kengkawan..

mau buat urusan..

tahniah buat mr inspektor..

ari ni 7 feb 2009..
melakar sejarah dalam hidup seorang teman sekolah..
kalau nak citer zaman sekolah..
mcm mcm kisah..
dan tak kan terfikir begini kesudahan..
masing-masing terpisah n membawa haluan masing-masing..
tapi kebelakangan ini..
kami ditemukan semula..
dimajlis walimatul urus..
kad undangan bertabur bagai wang jatuh dr langit..

dan tak terkecuali si mr inspektor di kalangan kami...
sapa menyangka sahabat yg seorang ni bergelar inspektor..
ayub ayub.. ko memang power la bro..
nasib ler dulu ko tak baper nak 'dengki' kat aku kan..
infact.. ko antara penolong ketua kelas yg baek n berdedikasi..
n thanx sanggup amek tempat aku time form 5 tuh ok..
tak sanggup ler aku nak pikul manyak sangat.. huhuhu...

esok aku nak g nengok ko bersanding..
ros kater siap ada skuad barrel bagai..
aku pun tak pernah hadir perkahwinan polis neh..
thanx sebab ingat n sudi jemput aku bro..
see you tomorrow yeah...


to AYUB N PASANGAN..
seLAmAT peNgANtin bAru...

bos kecil sepenuh masa???

yuhuu..

what's up guys.. hehehhe...

ari neh kena la jd bos kecil sepenuh masa...

big boss tiada.. n manager pun tiada...

along meeting.. da whole day...

achik plak cuti...

so.. nak tak nak..

apa pun nak dibuat..

keputusan sendiri juga..

huahahaha...

tapi kan.. time manyak keja tahap dewa ni la ceq ditinggal sorang-sorang...

dugaan sungguh...

tapi bila lagik nak nengok keupayaan diri kan..

alrite la..

nak kena chow dulu...

1st job in long list dah memanggil..

nak p breakfast.. ngeh ngeh ngeh..

uish.. bfast penting ok..

baru boleh bergerak cergas n lincah..

until later...

chows...

miss u bloody much...

it's 3.45am in the morning...
and i'm missing my DAD so bloody much..

there's a lot of time..
that i keep missing him..
it's 6 years already for God sake..

sometimes it just hurt so much..
i can't scream..
i can't smile..
and i can't even breath..
GOD.. i need him..
i need my DAD..

********************************************

ra.. kak D rindu atok..
rindu sangat-sangat..
help me pleaase...